The Care Factor

I have heard this quote many times in my life and it's key to having a successful youth ministry or ministry in general, "Students don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."  Trying to minister, mentor and influence a teenager is not going to happen without a relationship.  When they trust you is when they will open up to you, until then they will be a closed book or putting on a show.  I remember spilling my guts out to my youth pastor but only after I saw that he cared for me, before then I put up a big ol front.  He saw passed that front but wasn't able to minister passed that front until I saw that he genuinely cared for me.  A position doesn't give us a wide open door to a student's life, a caring relationship is what will start to open the door.  So whether you are a youth pastor, youth leader, mentor or teacher our position will only get us so far, to truly influence we must care for our students.  Again students don't care how much we know until they know how much we care!  Here are a few practical steps to show students we care for them: (if you are a small group leader these things are a must to have a successful small group!)

1.  I don't want to take anything for granted and even though I think this is a given I want to make sure it is said, know their name!
2.  Take interest in what they are interested.  Ask lots of questions to learn their interests and to get them talking about their interests.  I'm not a gamer but I can talk and learn about video games.
3.  Go to their events and games, this is huge!  Every student loves having a cheerleading section when they perform.
4.  Love them even when they are acting unloveable.  Consistent care is key!  One moment of caring will rarely open the door into a student's life.  It will more likely take months, maybe even years!
5.  Pray for them and let them know it.  Maybe in your quiet time to pray for them, shoot them a text to let them know you are praying for them.  When you have opportunities pray for them in person.
6.  Call them just to say hello and see how they are doing.
7.  If they are missing call or text them to let them know they are missed.
8.  Be there for them in a time of need like when they are in the hospital, have a death in the family, etc.

If you have other ideas on how to care for and build relationships with students leave a comment!