Beware of being a buddy

As youth pastor's and youth leaders caring for our students and building relationships are huge as I mentioned in yesterday's blog but we must do it in a way that we don't throw away our influence.  We throw away our influence when we become what I call a "buddy."  We want to be leaders, role models and mentors not buddies.  When we become a buddy we are just like any of their other friends, this will definitely hurt our influence.  We must still maintain a level of respect with our students while we build relationships and have fun with them.

Here is how we avoid becoming a buddy:

1.  Don't worry about being cool, just be you.  Wanting to be cool can lead us into doing something stupid, immature that causes us to lose the respect of our students and even get us fired, lol.
2.  Don't condone or ignore reckless behavior.  If you see it or know of it lovingly correct them.  You also cannot be the person they do crazy and wild things with.  We spend so much time trying to be the fun guy let's not remember it's important to also be the guy who draws a line.
3.  Don't let them disrespect you.  This is gonna happen and you have to lovingly correct the students when they do it.  They need to know you are the adult and they are the student.  If you let them disrespect you they will start to walk all over you.  With that you have to be careful with how you interact and what you say to them.  If you are wrestling with them you have to draw the line (this pertains to guys more then girls, lol), if you are cutting up with them you have to draw the line, don't let these things get out of hand.
4.  Don't ever, ever let them disrespect your family.  Students don't see these lines at times, we must make them aware and by doing this we avoid being the buddy and can lead them strongly.
5.  Have spiritual conversations with them.  If all you ever talk about is farts, video games, cutting up, sports and never have a spiritual conversation you are simply a buddy.  You may think "but what if I'm living it out?"  We definitely need to do that but also talk it out, ask questions, this must be a follow up step to what you are living out.
6.  Challenge them.  If it's all fun and games and no challenges you are a buddy.  A mentor/leader is someone who challenges their students to grow and be greater!
7.  Have fun the right way.  Avoid doing things that can hurt students physically, get them grounded, give your senior pastor headaches, could get you or them arrested, basically if you are ever in doubt DON'T do it!
8.  When you mess up, cross a line, hurt a student or use bad judgment around them or to them make sure you acknowledge it, apologize for it and make it right.  This is huge!  Be humble, show your students humility.  Be prideful and you are looked at as a buddy, be humble and you are looked at as a leader/mentor.

Please hear my heart, I share this blog because I have made this mistake and I've seen too many youth pastors/youth leaders become buddies and throw away their influence.  Be a leader/mentor not a buddy.